Meditation, emptying your mind, being perfectly still…. these are things that I am NOT good at.
When we were dating I frequently asked my (now husband,) “What are you thinking about?” He frequently replied, “Nothing.”
This same man and I now have sons together and on occasion I ask them the same question with the same end result and I am still blown away. How? How is it possible that you are thinking nothing?
I am unable to completely blank my mind. I have tried. I am always thinking something.
It usually goes something like this.
My intentions: Just focus on the verse you read.
I wonder if the boys remembered to feed the dog.
I need to remember to research the prices of topsoil. Maybe I should make quick note of that in my phone.
No, no! You are meditating. Focus!
Is that burning I smell? Better see if someone left the burner on under the cast iron skillet.
Whew! Burner off, vent on high!
Now where was I? Oh yes meditating!
Hmm which verse was it again? I dumped everything on the floor when I jumped up for the burning smell?!
What’s that? Is it important? Ok, yes you can come in.
Son: Sorry to bother you Mama I can wait.
Me: It’s okay, you are in here now. What did you need?
Son: Shakes head and starts to leave.
Me: No you said it was important. You are here. What did you need?
Son: I just didn’t know where you were and I wanted a hug.
Me: Sigh, okay come here.
Son: (with face smooshed to my shoulder) Sorry, Mama.
Me: It’s ok. I love you booger. Have you done your devotional? Ok. Go do that and brush your teeth.
Son: Yes, ma’am.
Me: (With a voice raised to carry out the door) and ask your brother if he fed the dog?
Now, where was I?
Hmmm, on what?
Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10
See, I told you that I am not good at meditation.
But then, maybe being good at it isn’t the point. He knows every curly hair on my head. So, He surely knows all about my tangled thoughts. I guess I just need to stop being so worried about the idea of meditating and knock on the door and ask for a hug?